I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
