he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
