just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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