I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize