Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
