i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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