No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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