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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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