Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
