Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize