were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize