If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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