And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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