dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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