I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
