I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
