saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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