he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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