Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
