Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
