Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
