shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
