Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
then he tried to convert me to islam
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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