I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
