You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My penis needs a shock collar
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
