Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
