I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
