i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
