i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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