I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
