He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
