Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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