She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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