it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You don't make any sense
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