Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize