You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
