you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
