just come out here and I will go home with you...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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