I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
