a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
