he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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