he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
