My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
