don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
