last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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