OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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