I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
even my farts smell like vagina
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
