I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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