Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
