I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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