the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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