everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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