Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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