Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
