he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
