Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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