brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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