We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The struggles of a small town man whore
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize