I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
