my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize