How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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